I sense things differently : a peak into my autism journey

When people touch me , I am blank.

I feel hollow .

I love you’s are repulsive

Everyday chit chat is irritating

Screaming makes me pace

Sexual Comprehension is paralyzing , perplexing and empty .

When water falls from my eyes it is always delayed

Dating is like winter, cold with an absent sun

Comprehension in a relationship , like being in the eye of a hurricane , I always damage someone.

Don’t be upset if I stop Speaking , I cannot stay afloat.

Sometimes there is nothing to say but a lot in my head my mouth has the inability to express it but my need is ink and a pen instead.

To bring you into my world To show you what I don’t know how to say , hoping that my behavior doesn’t hurt anyone so much that they walk away .

I don’t want a friend.

I don’t want to talk sometimes the constant communication is exhausting and from people I just cut off .

If you want to understand me watch a speech or feel the music , read a blog or study the stars that is the land in which I live , where everything makes sense but trying to keep up with a friendships or relationships is overload to my senses .

Please don’t pressure to get to know people, build friendships or commit

Everything becomes so tangled and I start to lose sense of it .

When people touch me I am blank , I feel hollow .

But give me a Joe Kennedy III speech and the world makes sense .

When people say I love you it repulses me in a sense .

But Shawn Mendes perfectly wrong for me song makes complete sense .


2 thoughts on “I sense things differently : a peak into my autism journey

  1. I feel your words. For so long, for decades, I was “The Other”, who could not communicate my feelings to family or to friends. My late wife worked through all the barriers, never taking “No” for an answer. Because of her, and her sacrifice, I am no longer “The Other”.


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